The Hole Beck Farm Experience

Imagine, if you will: ten thirty-somethings in two secluded cottages in the Lake District with enough food, alcohol and party favours to get them through three New Years. Scared that we'd run out of something and not be able to find civilisation, we made a huge shopping list via e-mail before we went and I came back with more booze than I went with!

My mother had a health scare so I delayed my trip up to be with her. (She's had test results now and she's fine, thank goodness.) When I finally arrived at the farm Tom was cooking already, Nic was setting the table and everyone else was changing for our Casablanca-themed murder mystery dinner. I was American bar owner Kirk Ransom III, a third-rate knock-off of Humphrey Bogart's Rick. I was told my accent was quite convincing but the people who said that were people I hadn't met before and they didn't know what I normally sound like until the following day.

One of our number was a profesional make-up artist which was useful when we realised we hadn't cast an important female role and Adam volunteered to fill in. The ladies of the group looked more stunning than ever thanks to Nathalie's skills, whereas the boys plastered on Brylcreem and we all look like crap in the colour photos. I want to make a witty remark here about Jo's melons but I've got another hangover and I'm having trouble even forming sentences that make sense so I'm just gonna leave it as a classless double entendre. Needless to say, there was much debauchery and when I staggered home (all ten feet) it was already getting light.

2006-01-01 was a write-off. I got up at 1800 and watched I Heart Huckabees. Then we watched Catch Me If You Can. Then we watched The Sky At Night. Nobody moved very far very fast all day. The following day I managed a short walk and got chased by a bull.

I drove back Tuesday night, slept again Wednesday, had a day out in Oxford on Thursday, went back to work Friday then got drunk with my Dad, went pubbing with school-chums last night and tomorrow I drive to York. Somewhere I squeezed in seeing my sister and her family too. It's been an exhausting "break" but so much fun, I think I'm cured. Szczesliwego Nowego Roku, as they say in Gdansk!