Satan's Cheeseboard

I was eating my £4.95 corporate bagel when I glanced down at the paper it was wrapped in, which was covered in bold red type. But instead of the usual

way Subway Subway Subway Subway Subway Sub
Subway Subway Subway Subway Subway Subway
ay Subway Subway Subway Subway Subway Subw
ubway Subway Subway Subway Subway Subway S

I got

ette Flaming Nosebag Christ On A Bike Fish Mittens Je
sus Wept Cor Blimey Satan's Cheeseboard Y-Fronts Merk
in Chipfat Chalfont-St-Giles Jesus Wept Merlin's Shag
pile Jean De Florette Flaming Nosebag Christ On A Bik

Apparently you can't make bagels all day without burning your fingertips a few times and the folks at Oi! Bagel don't like to "real swear" in front of their customers. Well, a double dumb-ass on me!