Top Five Dream Jobs

If there were no restrictions on what I could do next...



1. The Brooklyn Superhero Supply Co.
This is a real shopfront in Brooklyn. It's run by 826NYC, a non-profit organisation that provides writing workshops to the young in New York City. The hero thing helps attract new kids to the program and - conveniently - the Fantastic Four, the new Avengers and all the other superheroes based in the city can use it too.

2. Pornflix.
Like Netflix, but more educational for the bedroom. Apparently no-one else has identified this particular niche market. Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to start a business here. Shame, because I'll bet it's a lot less niche than you think. I'm not sure what makes me think a Netflix disc is clean when it arrives, but there would be very strict rules about hygeine at Pornflix.

3. Wingman.
Like www.wingwomen.com, but for the laydees.

4. Fiancé of stupid showbiz starlet.
I don't know... when I saw the ratboy Christina Aguileira shacked up with, she suddenly seemed a lot more available to me. It's a paid position in lieu of a TV show or recording contract. And I'd get a bonus for each chihauhau I had to look at.

5. Any gaming industry job in/near New York, D.C. or Seattle.
The location is much more important to me than the precise nature of the job, though I'll be loyal and committed if I like where I'm living. Hire me now!