Like Licking An Ashtray

Smoking is bad for you. Even for people like me who don't do much exercise, giving up is the single most effective thing we can do to improve our overall health. And it's expensive here compared to Virginia - approximately twice the price for cigarettes and five times for loose tobacco.



I once kissed someone who smoked American Spirit "natural" cigarettes. Talk about holding a mirror up! It was disgusting. I've quit twice. Once I lasted for five months then went to Spain and told myself it didn't count because I was on holiday. By the time I got back, I was hooked again. Next, I gave up for a new year's resolution but flew to Spain (again) with a new girlfriend two days later. To say I was tetchy would be an understatement... I chose to disappoint her by breaking my resolution so quickly rather than spoil our vacation with irritability and mood swings.

Tobacco products in E.U. countries come with gargantuan health warnings: big black heavy type on a white background in a black-bordered box that's bigger than the Malboro logo, on both sides of every pack. These range from the classic "smoking kills" to "smoking causes premature ageing of the skin" to my personal favourite, "smoke contains benzene, nitrosamines, formaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide". The next step is to use pictures of diseased lungs like they do in Canada. And watch our public services slowly erode as the most heavily taxed product in the country goes off the market and the war budget stays where it is.

Paradoxically, I'm in favour of smoking bans in enclosed spaces (except airports where you can't leave the building when you're on a connecting flight. In this godless age, I can't believe they'll provide a chapel but not a smoking room. I guess smoking just became my religion!) England is poised to ban smoke in pubs and restaurants like Ireland, Wales and Norway before it. So my choice will soon be freeze outdoors in winter or quit. Now that my father knows I smoke, much of the illicit thrill is gone anyway.

So for many reasons my days as a regular smoker are numbered. I just don't know how big that number is yet.