Overheard In Britain

"There are 28 Bristols in America."

"I'm hearing a slight accent..."

"We tried to get out of the ambulance but they wouldn't let us."

"He sticks his tongue in your ear when he's drunk. And he kisses men. He's not gay. He's just a pain the ass."

"Every time I closed my eyes I thought my duvet was crawling up my body."

"I think I talk almost as fast as you do."

"I'm trying to place your accent..."

"I didn't speak to you for years because of what he said about you."

"Our brains are just beef and electricity. One imbalance and whoosh!"

"I'm not going to comment and neither should you."

"She said she knew she needed to lose weight when she was sitting on the floor at a party and someone stood on her ass."

"My god! Your accent is messed up."