Einstein's Monsters

If no man is an island, Relative Theory Records has been my peninsula of sanity. No matter how prepared I was to leave the U.K. behind, I wasn't half as prepared for living in small town U.S.A. as I thought I was. Don't misunderstand: this isn't The Simple Life. Norfolk's been an up-and-coming town for years now... it just never quite seems to make it all the way there. Relative Theory opened in January 2004 and I arrived four months later.



That's Josh. Josh and Dave own the place. Tha place is Suite 200 (i.e. upstairs) at 271 Granby Street - conveniently "on the map". Jamie's like the manager and the electronic music guru. Ryan, the night guy, has moved on. I used to run into him at Hell's Kitchen a lot. High School Dave has a nice car. Heather's away at college but still manages to do a ton of artsy stuff in the back and once gave me a mean free haircut. Joy runs the coffee bar and Eric. They have an awesome loyalty card scheme (which helps them compete with larger retailers) and the friendliest staff (which makes it a no-brainer where to spend your severance pay). They have bands and movie nights. Or you can just hang out and read a local newspaper.

A record store was a sight for my sore eyes last summer and Relative Theory surpasses all previous experiences of feeling welcome in one. If only it had a liquor licence too, I'd never leave. They are gods. Gods! See you there tomorrow for four bands for $5.