One In The Eye For Mediocrity

The Eurovision Song Contest is a risible exercise in national pride and European unity with about as much prestige as a hairy baby contest on the beach at Blackpool.

In my formative years you could rely on the Swedish entry to have pigtails and the Dutch entry to wear clogs. In the last decade or so, it's become infested with bland Euro-pop and you can't tell any longer who you're watching by sight or sound alone. Except, now, Finland. I received a picture of the Finnish entry via e-mail last week and thought it was a joke.



The contest was showing in Zee Bar on Saturday night and we got there in time for the voting. Lordi took an early lead. The insanely cute Fern Cotton did devil horns with her fingers as she gave Britain's twelve points to the Mordor-Kiss crossover demigods. You know what's coming: Finland won. The winner always plays again so I got to hear the song and inspired lyrics such as "it's the Arockalypse" and "on the day of Rockoning"!

The only thing that bothers me is that there's no such thing as a one-off any more; you can rely on the suits to milk it to death. If Lordi were the Led Zeppelin of Eurovision, brace yourselves for the Iron Maiden of Eurovision next year and the Marillion in 2008.