Unidentified Drinking Injuries

What caused the pain in my lower left rib for three days last week? Nothing I could remember. Someone asked me if I'd been drinking over the weekend and I had. "Well," they said. "It's a U.D.I."

Two mornings ago I woke up with cold feet -- nothing new when your body's longer than your bed. A cut on the bottom of the second toe on my left foot had healed solid and I couldn't walk without it hurting. I suppose it was from the party last Friday, but I can't say why it took me four days to notice.

Am I getting old? Or just better at whingeing?



Last night I dreamed I was a rookie cop and Lalla Ward was my big city mentor. We rode the subway and trailed the bad guys to their converted warehouse. Everything had a green hue like in the first Matrix movie. I stood and watched as she served and protected in her 70s-style leather pants, using a pistol and some Slayer-esque high kicks. This one I can explain: too much blue cheese before bedtime.

Update 2006-02-12: I think Beastly Knits has cured my Lalla Lust.