Peacock Feathers

I had another inch of hair taken off the back. By Christmas I will be bald and also rich from not paying professionals to do what a friend can do in my kitchen in five minutes.



The conversation widened to include what we euphemistically call "personal grooming". According to my sources, men on the continent trim their body hair almost as much as women. And why not? In this day and age, do we actually need it? We have central heating, underwear and thermal clothing to protect us from the elements. I know plenty of bald men that didn't die of pneumonia yet.

We have showers and soap now too, negating the hygienic need for a mass of fur to keep out the dirt and bugs of the medieval battlefield. Hair is fast becoming the new appendix: I simply don't see the point in it any more except to attract a potential mate in our animal kingdom. Off with it! Or style it. It's the new law.